An Emotional Affair?
Emotional affairs fly under the radar, and sometimes we're not aware it's happening until it's too late. As a Cincinnati marriage counseling expert, I can help.
We live in a time that obliges us to keep running. We walk, eat, talk, type, work fast. Also, we tend to fall in love quickly too. But, sometimes, we don’t even realize it.
It all starts with a text that makes you smile, with a compliment you want to get. Many times, it starts with friendship which, eventually, you want to evolve into something more. You need to feel loved and you, subconsciously, form a bond between yourself and another person.
Everything sounds idyllic, right?
Yes, but what happens when you are already in a relationship? Is it friendship or an emotional affair?
What is an Emotional Affair? (The Marriage Counseling Expert Definition)
First, let’s just start by saying that an emotional affair can be equally destructive to your relationship as physical cheating. Sometimes, though, it might get much more harmful since it is hard to realize and even harder to resolve.
You usually feel a deep connection and a great sense of intimacy. In other words, emotional affairs are affairs that are not physical in nature but still plant feelings in your heart. At first, it might seem like an innocent flirt, but as your feelings grow, it can have a destructive impact on your relationship.
Emotional infidelity is out there and, now, when chatting with strangers is more available than ever, the possibility of getting into one is enormous. Not only because it's in our nature but because they can be addictive as well.
So, let’s take a look together at seven signs that prove your friendship might be an emotional affair. After all, as a Cincinnati marriage counseling expert, I can help.
You Think About The Other Person All The Time
We’ve all been there, and we know how this one feels like. Everything starts with our minds which constantly play the same image: The person we want to get involved with.
Thinking about the other person may sound too obvious. But when it comes to emotional affairs (when you usually are already in contact with your person of interest) things can get confusing. How do you know if you are thinking about someone as a lover instead of a friend?
Also, being in a relationship makes you doubt yourself and your feelings. This is actually something common that, as a Cincinnati marriage counseling practitioner, I have noticed: When it comes to affairs, people start by mistrusting their emotions.
If waking up means checking their Facebook profiles or looking when they last logged in on WhatsApp, romantic feelings are evolving.
Your Partner Knows Nothing About It
When you make new friends that excite you, you always go to your partner to tell them about this new, cool person that you’ve met. However, in an emotional affair, things don’t go that way.
You hide the relationship from your partner either because you believe they will feel jealous or because you can’t explain its nature. In any case, protecting your "friend" from the person of your life means that you are hiding them for some reason.
This reason is usually called guilt or hope for something more to happen between you two. Also, when you and your partner talk about your “friend,” you get anxious and act like he or she is not important to you. And we both know this is not true, don’t we?
It’s Your Partners vs. The Other Person
Seriously? Do you still believe that this relationship is innocent? Well, it is not.If you keep comparing your partner to the other person that you’ve met, then you are thinking about getting into a relationship with them. Somehow you have turned them into a replacement to your primal relationship or a potential significant other.
In other words, you want him or her as your partner. And, additionally, you can't stop wondering how life would be like if you had met them earlier.
You Feel Changed
The first thing you want to look at is yourself. How is your behavior or your vibe when you meet that other person? Have you started doing yoga, taking care of your diet, or your appearance? That’s great for you, but it's time to ask yourself:Who are you doing all these for?
If you feel like you have become more attractive, funnier, hotter or a better version of yourself, in general, you are, most likely, doing this for your emotional affair. You want to get that other person's attention, impress them, make them like you and want to spend time with you.
Who are you trying to impress the most? Your partner or your "friend"? I am sure you know the answer to this question. You wouldn't visit a Cincinnati marriage counseling website if you didn't.
You Make Sacrifices
Remember that time when your boyfriend or girlfriend asked you to go for a drink, but you were too busy working? Now, what happens when the person you are in an emotional affair with asks for the same thing? You probably leave the office earlier.
When you sacrifice your responsibilities or your personal life for someone else, that means that your feelings are not that innocent. You want to spend time with them and have fun. When the time you spend together increases, it means you are officially playing with fire.
Communication Gets Deeper, Yet Mysterious
You don’t talk with that other person about your primary relationship and, when you do, you are sharing your frustrations about your partner. On the other hand, they don’t tell you whether they are dating someone or not and there is a mystery lingering in the air.
For your information, this happens because both of you want to let that door open.You both understand each other, and your communication feels great. You talk about your lives, your secrets, your hopes, and fears. You even text late at night or early in the morning just to say hi. But you still don’t talk about your love lives because you feel like it would make things uncomfortable.It’s like you are in a relationship without being in one. It's like an affair.
You Finally Want To Get Physical With Him/Her
Oh, don’t be surprised. You did see that coming even though, in the beginning, it was out of the question.
It is true that most emotional affairs don’t turn into an actual sexual relationship, but your mind loves playing games. When you are having sex with your real partner, and you fantasize about the other person, your feelings for them have reached another level.
But of course, you knew that.
I know how hard dealing with an emotional affair is. On the other hand, it might be your lucky day. Because a Cincinnati marriage counseling expert I can help you with your situation. Just contact me to book a session, and we are going to resolve this together.
I'll be happy to help!
Worried About your relationship & have no time to go to Counseling?
Take Our "Relationship Map" test . The Best Relationship Test online for Couples and Individuals.
About Sam Nabil
Sam Nabil was featured in many prestigious publications. Check out his interview with Aljazeera English, The Washington post, The Boston Globe, Fatherly magazine, Women's health magazine, Cornell university , Yahoo News, USA Today, Marriage.com